disney channel rant

If you’re a fan of the new Disney Channel, I suggest you wake up. Also, click the “X” in the corner because you probably won’t like what I have to say. 

I remember a time when the Disney Channel used to be a simple Disney thing for me. I’d tune in everyday to get my daily dose of fun cartoons, classics, movies that weren’t half-assed, and a blast from the past with Vault Disney. Today, we are faced with Zack and Cody and Hannah Montana 24/7. And what’s worse about all this? The only saving grace of the Disney Channel is Disney Jr., which is directed to preschoolers and yet, they get the cooler shows that actually have Disney classic tie-ins. I actually would rather watch Jake and the Never Land Pirates over something pointless like Sonny With a Chance. In fact, there’s even a new show coming out for Disney Jr. called 7D (Seven Dwarves - life before Snow White). I’m all for bringing original Disney back into our lives, but why is it directed towards a younger audience? The only time Mickey Mouse even appears on the Disney Channel is on Mickey Mouse Club House. Bring back that mischevious side of Mickey Mouse and his crazy dog Pluto. Where have they been hiding? Obviously behind their new sugarcoated personalities…

Another thing I noticed - Nickelodeon finally caught on. TeenNick will finally be re-airing our favorites that we never stopped loving. So, Disney Channel, why don’t you get your stuff in order? Why don’t you fix yourself up? You’ve let a dim-witted Country/Pop stars walk all over you for too long. You’ve let the Disney Channel become the face of Disney. You’ve let this mediocre channel give the company a bad name. I can just imagine Walt rolling around in his grave just thinking about it. He wouldn’t stand for it and neither should we. Remember, it all started with a mouse, not with auto-tuned pre-pubescent teens. 

This is what I think we should do as soon as possible: BRING BACK THE CLASSICS. If we introduce the original Disney Channel to the younger crowd then I’m sure parents would even watch. Do what Nickelodeon does, divide your time slots to a certain age group.

Kids-Teens
5a-9am - Classic Disney cartoons: Silly Symphonies, Mickey and the gang, etc.
9a-12p - Classic Disney morning shows: Good Morning Mickey, Out of the Box, PB&J Otter, 7D, etc.
12p-4p - The Disney Afternoon and other 80s-90s cartoons - Rescue Rangers, Darkwing Duck, Tale Spin, Duck Tales, Goof Troop, Adventures of Winnie the Pooh, etc.
4p-5p - Tween centered live action - BOY MEETS WORLD!!, Even Stevens, New Mickey Mouse Club, etc.
Teen-Adults (and even elders)
5p-7p - Classic Disney Primetime - Zorro, Davey Crockett, World of Color, etc.
7p-9p - Walt Disney Pictures film - The classics and modern classics, etc.
9p-10:00p - Walt Disney Presents / Disneyland (the show) - Vault Disney
10:00p - 12:00p - Classic Disney shows - Mickey Mouse club, Disney specials, etc.
12:00p-5:00a - Re-run the Classic Disney shows block.

The Disney Channel used to be something that brought the family together. Bringing back the past would definitely have parents and their children watching. I’m positive that their viewers would double. There are many people out there who won’t even touch the Disney Channel just because it has an infamous reputation now. But I remember a time when it would draw in people and give us reasons to smile. 
If the Disney Company is reading this (which I seriously doubt), please fix your channel. I don’t like your new line up and I refuse to watch any of your shows because they’re dull, poorly written, and make parents look like idiots. You are only reaching a small demographic of kids. Make up your minds and give us back good television. 

Enough said.